I haven’t been active here for 2 1/2 years, and it’s strange how quickly time passes. Those who know me have seen a lot of things happen. My wife and I bought a house and have welcomed two more children (for a total of three); I’ve settled fairly well into my position as Blood Bank Lead Technologist at work; I’ve had continued back troubles; our church provided pulpit supply for almost a year to a church about 45 minutes away; and I’ve started a podcast (Bite-Sized Theology, www.bite-sizedtheology.com). That’s just a portion of what’s been going on.
I’ve been in a reflective mood lately. My oldest son, Lukas, fell and broke his arm; my daughter, Melody, is a huge Daddy’s girl and I worry about how I will ever learn to tell her “No”; and my youngest son, Nathanael, was born with hypospadias and had a tongue- and lip-tie that seemed to affect his ability to nurse properly. On top of that, Abi had to go to the hospital after Nathanael’s birth for some post-delivery complications, and we’ve been fighting sickness for the last week in our house.
Add in the political climate, the increasing disregard for biblical truth, and any number of other depressing topics, and it’s a wonder more of us aren’t committed to the looney bin.
This is all pretty much stream-of-consciousness, so I apologize for any rambling. I simply felt I needed to post.
I’m attending an educational meeting today for my field. This morning I arrived and wondered what I was doing here. It’s not the first time I’ve questioned what I’m doing and felt discontent. Is it a prodding to move on to something new? Am I merely not giving enough where I am and thus feeling dissatisfied? Perhaps I need to stand back and consider where exactly my priorities lie.
It’s not that the information I’m learning today or that the work I perform is uninteresting, but it has become somewhat commonplace in my mind. I don’t think that life should be a continual escalation of excitement, but neither do I think that I shouldn’t find interest or even excitement in my current circumstances.
Maybe part of it is raising three children who are just starting to get to the stage where we can find mutually interesting activities. Maybe it’s an early mid-life crisis. I’m not going to buy a convertible or invest in underwater basket-weaving (my wife is grateful for my level of stability in such things!). Maybe I’m frustrated with my level of health and just need to get out and take some walks.
It’s not easy feeling like the path ahead isn’t certain. I trust that God will guide me, but will I act on it, especially if the guidance is “Stay where you are?” I hope so.
I have no clear answers right now. Prayer, reflection, and time should make things clear. I’d prefer it happen soon, but I will wait as long as needed.